


cardigan

by thelastolympian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25579306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastolympian/pseuds/thelastolympian
Summary: A letter from Hermione Granger to Harry Potter.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 32
Kudos: 50





	cardigan

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This drabble was written all of a sudden and it was inspired by the song “cardigan”, from Taylor’s Swift new album ‘folklore’. I am in no way getting money from this piece of work. All characters belong to J.K Rowling, I’m only playing in her sandbox. Hope you like it!
> 
> Ps.: HUGE thanks to sonofahorcrux, Bailey and NifflersNogtailsNargles for taking a look at it and helping me edit it.

_“Dear Harry,_

_First of all, happy birthday! I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to be with you today, but I hope you can understand it someday. I think you’ll start searching for answers pretty soon, so I’ll spare you the time and effort. I ask you to put yourself in my shoes so you can comprehend my state of mind as I write this letter to you. I’m in the garden, wearing that green old cardigan that you gave me in the tent. Remember? It was right after Ronald left. I couldn’t stop crying, but one night my hands started to tremble from the cold_ and _you gave me your cardigan so I could sleep - or try to - without dying of hypothermia. I still have it to this day, and it’s one of the things I value the most in my life, as it represents the fact that you worried about me even when I didn’t want you to, even when you shouldn’t_ _have, given the state we were in at that time. You were always the most lionhearted of us, I hope you know that.  
_

_It’s actually exquisite how contradictions happen, don’t you think? For example, here I am, writing on a piece of parchment ready to say goodbye to you, while also stating how you never left me. But, unfortunately, this time I couldn’t give you the choice to stay by my side. You had a horrific childhood, a troubled life in school, and very busy adulthood, going after dark wizards and making the world a better place. So when I discovered that I was, in fact, dying, I couldn’t put you through that. Everyone thought_ that _our break-up was all of sudden, and even you said the same thing to me. You said that I was acting differently, asked me what was happening. I’m so sorry, Harry. Every single time you said that you loved me and I didn’t answer, I was screaming inside that I loved you too. But instead, I acted like I didn’t care, that I didn’t love you anymore. I did all of th_ at _to break us up and spare you the nightmare that living with me would be._

_I’ll give a pause for you to ask yourself what the fuck I am saying, question whether this is some kind of prank from George or even scream. Okay? Go on._

_Is everything okay? Sorry, that was poorly worded. My bad. Can you continue? I hope so._

_That night at Malfoy Manor, when Bellatrix carved that word in my arm, the dagger was infused with a dark curse. It took a while — a couple of years, in fact – for the curse’s effects to become apparent. It’s a slow curse; it starts taking over your body little by little, without any sign. The first time I realized som_ ething _might be wrong was on my twentieth birthday, at Seamus' bar. When I went to the bathroom to compose myself after that birthday kiss you gave me - our first kiss - I felt strands of hair falling when I ran my fingers through it. It wasn’t something that immediately alarmed me, but that was the beginning. Nevertheless, those days with you at Grimmauld were the best in my life. I didn’t know what was going on with me and my only worry was if the press was following us. Going out drunk under the streetlights, kissing in the shadows and looking like two fools for anyone who might see us from the outside.  
_

_Us._

_Us, playing hide and seek like lost children, Peter and Wendy, in that garden that you built up with so much love with the help of Neville. I can remember vividly the time you prepared my birthday dinner in the garden and gave me the red rose under the crystal ball. “For as long as I love you, this rose will never die.” Us, laying in your bed for the entire weekend and_ _never letting go of each other. Us, kissing under the refrigerator light in the middle of the night and promising the world to each other._

 _As the months went by, I felt weaker and nothing in this world could help me. After the war, you decided that you wanted to know what waited for you outside the walls of Britain, and I encouraged you. When you asked me to go, I took so long to decide because I was in fact planning secret meetings in these countries to understand what was going on with me._ _Remember that trip to Brazil? I ditched the Quidditch game by saying that I would visit the National Magic Library in Fortaleza, but I lied. I actually had a meeting with Benedita Dourado - the headmaster of Castelobruxo , who’s well versed in ancient curse-breaking - to discover what I should do. She was the one that discovered the effects of Bellatrix’s dagger, but she couldn’t do anything to save me. However, she put me in contact with Pai_ _Mei - an ancient Japanese master. I planned on visiting him with you, but the Ministry appointment came and I went alone, which helped me in a couple of degrees. Pai Mei could give me a couple of months, but he couldn’t save my life. No one could, Harry. And for that, I’m sorry. I’ll never stop saying how sorry I am to you. By now I guess you already know how much you mean to me and how much I love you, but I’ll say it again: I love_ _you. You are the love of my life, Harry James Potter. Never forget that you are loved. Even when I leave, I’ll watch over you. Promise me you’ll try, Harry. Promise me you’ll try to be happy, that you’ll try to LIVE. You can’t stop trying.  
_

_You’ll always be a part of me._

_Forever yours,  
_ _Hermione Jean Granger.”_


End file.
